A fun schedule is a predetermined outline of how and when fun will occur. If this sounds counterintuitive to you, it’s because it is. Yet, for many of us, schedules and time frames dictate and interfere with our flow. We may think, I should be married with children by this age, I should be “successful” by this age, I should complete school by this time, etc. It’s a very linear way of thinking and being. If we want to experience expansion in our lives, living on a linear plane greatly limits the playing field.
At any given moment, there are two forces at play: our will and a greater will. You can define a greater will as nature, chance, God, the universe, or anything else. The reality of life is that we are not in control at all times. Trust me, I’ve tried.
Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine if you are on a fun schedule:
1. Is my idea/outline for how things should go interfering in my relationships?
2. Do my ideas/outlines for my life sometimes sabotage my motivation, spirit, or what it is that I truly desire?
3. When things aren’t going according to my plan, do I become angry, frustrated, or disappointed?
4. Does my body feel tight and rigid around my planning?
5. Do I experience fear around things not going according to plan?
Since learning through the scenic route (also known as the hard way) that sometimes my little brain cannot always know what is for my highest good at all times, I’ve become a fan of going with the flow. As a Type A in recovery, this is something I must remind myself of on a daily basis. When we become aware that perhaps we are trying to rigidly adhere to a fun schedule, there are a few things we can do come back into alignment with the other force at play.
1. Ask yourself, Is it possible that I don’t know everything? (hint: the answer is YES)
2. Breath. This is obvious, but important. When we become rigid in our thinking or in our bodies, we contract. This limits flow, potential and fun.
3. Ask yourself, Is my schedule a collaboration or a dictatorship? A collaboration means you take into account the energies of others, including nature/chance/luck/God/universe. A dictatorship is when you try to force your will.
4. Is the tension I am bringing to this schedule/plan feel good for me? Sometimes we certainly can force things to happen on our timeline, but does it actually feel fun or good this way? If not, what’s the point?
Remember your successes. All of us have examples of times when we thought we knew when something was supposed to happen, only to realize sometime later that something greater was in store for us. It’s certainly ok to want what you want. But the more flexible you are about the conditions surrounding your desires, the more likely you are to actually enjoy the journey of pursuing them.